monday but she ain't mundane
what did 0 say to 8? nice belt
let’s get into it yuh as Miss Doja says
also, I am still in the process of deciding on an official name for all this, so if you see modifications in the title, just let me slay in peace
poem of the week
"Manifesto in an unknown language" by Rhiannon McGavin from Grocery List Poems, 2021 No, I couldn’t sleep, I’m building my loves from the smell of rain and the bus driver’s soft wave when I’m broke, from a sea that carves cracked bottles into gems, and a stranger’s laugh runs a vein of silver through the night, a love cut from the dark when a kissing scene fades on a film screen. Say the last time someone touched me with a tender feeling and I’ll eat the clock. Name the next time, win all the lucky pennies I’ve thrown away waiting for that love like a nasturtium, the petals with their birthday candle flame, hot and sweet. The kind of love in my steps where empty rooms are only rooms you’ve left.
a musing but probably not amusing
Last night the moon like a big yellow face appeared behind every tall tower in the city. It made me think about the man on the moon - the face that the craters make. I used to see the face vividly every time I looked at the moon, when it chased me on car rides home, sat outside my bedroom window. Weaving in and out like a ball of light, undeterred by the trees, night after night, always returning.
Sometimes I feel like I can only see memories through a View-Master - I learned today it’s actually called a thaumatrope, from the Ancient Greek words for wonder (thauma) and turner (trope). But right - memory is a poet, not a historian. Memory is a wonder turner.
I remembered a conversation I had with an old friend what felt like a long time ago on a late night in SoHo. I can hear the words she is saying almost exactly, but now her face is blurred in my mind.
For some reason I thought of that last night when I looked at the moon and saw no face. I wonder about it - turn it over and over in my mind. Flip through those scenes from a past life. Tick tick tick tick. Now that person is lightyears away on the other side of a vast chasm we probably can’t or won’t cross again.
If the moon landing was real, maybe the face on the moon can be real too. Real as forgiveness and love. Or the real moon might be soft and made of clay and would disintegrate if it was ever graced. Who might turn his face when I forget to check his place at night because I’m selfish, distracted, dumb, disgraced. I thought I couldn’t reach you from where I’m writing, but that’s one of many polished little excuses strung around me like pearls. A bunch of tiny little moons yanked from the sea.
Across the country, as you look at the same sky, I think about how the canyon between friends is always the darkest and deepest, it seems. How a unique love like that can fill you up and leave you empty and incomplete. I’m watching a candle burn low and almost irritated you might somehow know I’m thinking of you, watching the stubborn flame turn from white to yellow, from orange to red to violet to blue.
All of Alvvays’ Blue Rev - truly a wonderful album start to finish. Can’t wait to find it on vinyl.
visit my turntable here:
In other news, very happy to share that I’ll be working with one of my favorite Bravo podcasters - Ryan Bailey, host of So Bad It’s Good with Ryan Bailey, a truly funny, engaging, and enjoyable show that covers everything from reality recaps to pop culture news. I’ll be taking his notes on this season of the Kardashians & podcasting with him at some point this season - check him out wherever you listen to your podcasts, and if you wanna hear some Kardashian discourse, find him on Patreon here.
While we’re on the topic of Bravo podcasters, I must also take this moment to shout out Ben Mandelker’s foodie Substack, NBD Fancy, where he tackles some of the most delicious recipes, puts in his pinch of advice here and there, and gives us more of that Ben cuteness we love from Watch What Crappens. This week he asked if he could - gasp - improve an Ina Garten recipe…I know. But subscribe to Ben’s newsletter here and thank me later, because Ina girl…he may be right
and since we’re talking about pods! If you’re in the market for creepy crawly, true crime, spook spook for the season, my favorites are Morbid, Last Podcast on the Left, Generation Why, Going West, and Casefile.
this week, please check out two great newsletters which inspired me to start this one:
Maddie Howard’s Hey Howie
Grayce Toon’s What did I learn this week?
thanks for your visit to the disturbed universe. restrooms on the left, gift shop on your right. we’re having a sale on tote bags