it's october

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's maple leaves

Oct 03, 2022

Runny nose, not enough layers, an innately bad mood - it’s AUTUMNAL!!

Thanks for spending another week in my lil world. I love you!

poem of the week

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published

from "Two Poems from October" by Jos Charles

October rose 
up  All root
wet limbing 
     	and waiting lines
 	A coastline obstructing
	itself  I
    	lost something
 	in every room they
got in how
 	  how 
	  how
  	  how,  your dreams

dumb musing

This week my dreams bled into my reality a lot more than I’d like them to (sometimes it’s entertaining!!! other times ://// not so slay) and almost every day I’ve woken up with a jolt. I really hate that. This time of year brings me back to a lot of hollow and confusing memories I’d rather not revisit, or maybe just puts me back in the sort of self awareness that I’m typically able to escape during the summer. There’s a certain bit we’re all able to avoid in the summer, I think whether you like the weather or not.

The sun is gone this week and I miss her lots.

Every day, day on day, I wake up and (what was it? a life is a beautiful thing to waste…) on cloudless days she isn’t rising, the moon and earth like eyes roll back in my head, again, again, forever rotating. On and on, I touch the spot, feel that rot, and try to push the thought from my mind - think not of the stranger that put it there but of the way I have put it back together since then.

In my dreams lately I’m chasing myself down the dark, dusty corridors of my subconscious; I’m running barefoot in the street, running barefoot in the sand, in the grass, just running away; I am slamming the door, I am fumbling with the lock, I am not fast enough; I dream I am clinging to the corners of buildings to pull myself around the corner; there are people are inside my apartment, it’s so full of people, they’re all talking and I can’t sleep (consciousness is a dangerous thing to misplace); I dream the men working on the roof rappel down the side of the building but in a big orange bucket, and they don’t hurt me, they just wave at me; I wake up on my back on the wet sidewalk and I know exactly what block I’m on before I can open my eyes, I’m in pain; I am falling through the floor, the floor is falling onto me; I’m being swept up in a tsunami and trying to hold a ball of darkness in my hands.

I think it’s how terrible is the rotten mind to taste…on the platform to work I read a broken sticker stuck to some waste - no, I’m misreading - it doesn’t say the moon and the stars are yours to destroy. I watch it kicked down the car - it says the moon

it says is yours - and then in the crush it’s destroyed.

my deck

“20**” - Mat Kerekes, Amber Park
Spotify | Apple Music

“Secrecy Is Incredibly Important To The Both of Them” - Yves Tumor, The Asymptotical World
Spotify | Apple Music

“YUKON (INTERLUDE)” - Joji, Smithereens
YouTube | Spotify | Apple Music

“Kiss City” - Blondshell, Kiss City
Spotify | Apple Music

“I Can’t Get You Out” - Part Time, All My Love And All Your Love (Together We Are Fine)
Spotify | Apple Music

“Starfall” - Salem, Fires in Heaven
YouTube | Spotify | Apple Music

“Surf That Well” - Bawo, Surf that Well/SKATE
Spotify | Apple Music

…

you can always keep up with what I’m listening to here:

new albums this week

Alvvays - Blue Rev

Dayglow - People in Motion

G Herbo - Survivor’s Remorse (A-Side)

King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard – Ice, Death, Planets, Lungs, Mushrooms and Lava

WILLOW - <COPINGMECHANISM>

the disturbed universe

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